Paris Hilton, the hotel heiress and former reality TV star, has been named the new manager of the Hilton Paris Hotel.
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Paris Hilton, the hotel heiress and former reality TV star, has been named the new manager of the Hilton Paris Hotel.

The hotel, which has been a staple of luxury and elegance in the city of lights for decades, has apparently decided to shake things up and tap into the “millennial market” by hiring the 41-year-old Hilton as their new leader.

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According to sources close to the Hilton, the decision was made after a top-level meeting where it was determined that the hotel needed a “fresh face” to attract younger, more social media-savvy customers. Hilton, who has built her personal brand around her public image and social media presence, was seen as the most qualified candidate to bring the hotel into the 21st century. Also, her dad owns the hotel.

“We’re really excited to have Paris Hilton managing The Paris Hilton,” said a spokesperson for the hotel. “She’s young, she’s hip, and she knows how to work a camera. We’re confident that she’ll be able to bring in a whole new demographic of guests who are looking for a more ‘Instagrammable’ experience.”

We’re really excited to have Paris Hilton managing The Paris Hilton.

The Paris Hilton SPOKESPERSON

Hilton, who is said to be “thrilled” about her new role, has already begun making changes to the hotel. She has ordered a complete rebranding of the hotel, which will now be called “The Paris Hilton,” complete with new logo, signage, and uniforms. She has also ordered a complete renovation of the hotel’s rooms, which will now feature a “hot” design, complete with pink accents and framed photos of herself.

But it’s not just the hotel’s appearance that’s changing. Hilton has also introduced a new set of policies for guests, including a “no basic bitches” rule, which bans anyone wearing “ugly shoes” or “mom jeans” from the hotel’s premises. Additionally, she has committed to DJing at least three times a week on the hotel’s rooftop.

“I want my hotel to be a place where people come to feel like celebrities,” said Hilton in a press statement. “I want it to be a place where people come to see and be seen, and that means raising the bar on what’s acceptable. No more flip-flops, no more sweatpants. It’s time to bring back glamour.”

Hilton has also introduced a new line of cocktails, including the “Simple Life Martini,” which is made with vodka and Tang, and the “Paris is Burning Margarita,” which is served in a diamond-studded glass and garnished with a miniature Eiffel Tower.

There are, however, some who are not embracing the changes. Some hotel guests have complained that the new policies and design changes make the hotel feel more like a tacky theme park than a luxury establishment. Meanwhile, Paris locals have expressed their dissatisfaction with the “Americanization” of one of the city’s most iconic hotels.

But Hilton is not fazed by the criticism, stating “I know what people want and I know how to give it to them. I’m bringing a fresh perspective to this hotel and I’m going to make it the hottest spot in Paris. So, if you can’t handle the heat, stay out of my kitchen.”

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