The Platypus

Lying Lecce Claims There Have Been 47 Years of Teacher Strikes Since 1989
Cash Is Needed for So-Called “Freedom Convoy” To Hire the Failed Leader of the New Blue Party of Ontario As Their Lawyer

“Freedom Convoy” organizers say they lack funding to defend a potential class-action lawsuit against them. They want a court to unfreeze at least $200,000 in donations so they can hire their new law firm, Jim Karahalios Professional Corporation.

This Middle-Aged Man Believes He Is the King of the Ocean

After being gifted a cardboard crown and plastic trident, the almost 40-year-old Canadian believes he is now the ruler of the oceans. As a result of the amount of plastic inside his wife, she will not be able to join him under the sea.

In Order To Comply With Canada’s Language Laws, Pharmacies Will Have To Translate All Tylenol Products Arriving From the States

Throughout the country, pharmacists will receive shipments of children’s Tylenol products from the United States. However, it will be up to each individual pharmacy to translate these products by hand since they lack French labeling as required by Health Canada.

Despite a medication’s English-only packaging, Health Canada assures Canadians that it will still work on francophones and non-English speakers.

Free Speech On Twitter Up 10,000% Since Musk Takeover

He’s done it, folks! Twitter, under the leadership of Elon Musk, has seen an almost 10,000% increase “free speech.” Users can now be as racist, misogynistic, homophobic, and threatening as they want, so long as it’s towards the right people.

A Brain Scan of Theo Fleury Has Leaked Online and It’s Shedding a Lot of Light on His Mental State

An X-ray of Theo Fleury’s skull has leaked online, showing that it contains nothing more than a pipe, a crushed beer can, and some rubber boots. The lack of a brain would explain his erratic behaviour and conspiratorial beliefs.

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